At home [not my 7x7 deployed cubical in Kuwait] I have a picture hanging over my bed of a young mime with her head tilted. The picture was drawn in chalk circa 1991, and it brings back a flood of memories for me because I was performing at the Muscarelle Museum in Williamsburg, VA as a young mime for my high school mime troop...yup...mime troop.
For those of you who know me pretty well, "quiet" does not exist in my vocabulary. To partially quote Miranda from Sex and the City, "In my overly articulated life" the art of silence has completely alluded me. When I was in seminary I remember as a part of our church history class we had to drive out to a Trappist Monastery and sit in silence for two hours. As I sat in the back of the chapel, my mind could not be silent for anything. Every thought under the sun ran through my head. The professor laughed [and gave me a "B"] when I told him I only lasted about 45 minutes.
It was not until last year's deployment with the Marines on a Navy ship I discovered the beauty of the evening. Many times I would go out on a weather deck and watch the sun set; I loved the silence and tranquility of that moment. I also loved the words, "Tattoo Tattoo stand by for evening prayer....Amen." As I walked back to my room through the P-Ways the hustle and bustle of the day had calmed down. Everyone on the ship was clamouring for the same thing I was...solitude and silence. The red lights that rimmed insides of the ship never looked so good.
So it is no surprise while I've been in Kuwait my introverted needs are screaming in a silent revolt. Although I'm not an introvert, my need for silence and isolation grows to unbelievable enormity. Now, you must understand I'm VERY BLESSED with a HUGE office [for military standards], I've got THE MOST comfortable sofa on the base, and a door that shuts, allowing me to shut out the world at any given notice. However, because of my job my door remains open most of the time [except when the secretary starts humming and singing, which gets a little annoying].
In my search of books to help cultivate spirituality I discovered the book Invitation to Silence: Experiencing God's Transforming Presence by Ruth Haley Barton. As soon as I cracked it open imagine my gull when she expected us to sit in silence for 10 whole minutes! What?! Couldn't she just lecture about the importance of silence?! Why do we need a prac. app?! Ms Barton has obviously never been to Kuwait and had to jockey for solitude.
But, I could not deny my soul which is yearning for the silence it needs to be nourished.
Does anyone know how to sit in silence and solitude? It's harder than it seems...really.... But, as my soul insisted it was hungry and needed to be fed, I made my first real attempt [might I add feeble attempt] at sitting in silence. Did I mention it's a lot harder than it seems? You have to sit there and do nothing...do nothing. So frustrating!
So, for my 1st attempt at solitude and silence, I [against Ms Barton's suggestions] chose my office to sit in silence. The rattling of my air conditioner is the only noise, and if you've been to Kuwait you know that is as about as quiet as it gets.
10 minutes later and the experience wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My mind did stray, but I kept repeating my simple prayer [Peace be with you...thanks Jesus], and I kept returning to the quiet. Not bad for my 1st attempt. I felt somewhat relaxed after the silence.
Two days later [I skipped a day] I made my second attempt at a 10-minute silence. This time I had just finished preparing this Sunday's sermon and my mind was dead. I was exhausted and it was only 7pm. I climbed up the stairs to our berthing and crawled into my rack. After placing two towels around my bed to cut out the light, I realized I should probably sit in silence.
I placed my back on the partition, closed my eyes, said my prayer [Peace be with you], and listened to the silence of berthing. OMG it was DEAD!!!!! NO ONE MADE A SOUND. For the 1st time that I can remember I heard silence. It took about five minutes before my mind started getting restless, but those 1st five minutes recharged my soul in ways I cannot comprehend.
Interestingly enough people only started making noise in berthing after my 10 minutes was up.
Silence and solitude are essential even in the most extroverted lives. To let the spirit alone to be nourished by our Creator is one of the most sacred moments in our lives. Although I might not be "good at doing nothing" [something for which I think my CO is quite thankful], I am willing to take this daily journey into the world of solitude and silence.
Fransician Priest Richard Rohr once [via Ruth Haley Barton] wrote, "A good journey begins with knowing where we are and being willing to go somewhere else."
If you are interested in experiencing solidute and silence, here is what Ruth haley Barton suggests in chapter 2 [entitled "Beginnings"] her book Invitiation to Solitude and Silence: Experiencing God's Transforming Presence:
1. Identify your sacred space and time
2. Begin with a modest goal [of time]. Something like 10-15 minutes is reasonable
3. Settle into a comofortable yet alert physical positon
4. Ask God to give you a simple prayer that expresses your openess and desire for God. Distractions are normal; when you become distracted, thenlet them go and use your prayer to refocus you.
5. Close your time in silence with a pryaer of gratitude for God's presence with you, or pray the Lord's Prayer
6. Resist the urge to judge yourself or your experiences in silence. That time is supposed to be between you and God in whatever state that is; let him be in control and trust that it is exactly as it should be.
Happy Silence & Solitude!
For those of you who know me pretty well, "quiet" does not exist in my vocabulary. To partially quote Miranda from Sex and the City, "In my overly articulated life" the art of silence has completely alluded me. When I was in seminary I remember as a part of our church history class we had to drive out to a Trappist Monastery and sit in silence for two hours. As I sat in the back of the chapel, my mind could not be silent for anything. Every thought under the sun ran through my head. The professor laughed [and gave me a "B"] when I told him I only lasted about 45 minutes.
It was not until last year's deployment with the Marines on a Navy ship I discovered the beauty of the evening. Many times I would go out on a weather deck and watch the sun set; I loved the silence and tranquility of that moment. I also loved the words, "Tattoo Tattoo stand by for evening prayer....Amen." As I walked back to my room through the P-Ways the hustle and bustle of the day had calmed down. Everyone on the ship was clamouring for the same thing I was...solitude and silence. The red lights that rimmed insides of the ship never looked so good.
So it is no surprise while I've been in Kuwait my introverted needs are screaming in a silent revolt. Although I'm not an introvert, my need for silence and isolation grows to unbelievable enormity. Now, you must understand I'm VERY BLESSED with a HUGE office [for military standards], I've got THE MOST comfortable sofa on the base, and a door that shuts, allowing me to shut out the world at any given notice. However, because of my job my door remains open most of the time [except when the secretary starts humming and singing, which gets a little annoying].
In my search of books to help cultivate spirituality I discovered the book Invitation to Silence: Experiencing God's Transforming Presence by Ruth Haley Barton. As soon as I cracked it open imagine my gull when she expected us to sit in silence for 10 whole minutes! What?! Couldn't she just lecture about the importance of silence?! Why do we need a prac. app?! Ms Barton has obviously never been to Kuwait and had to jockey for solitude.
But, I could not deny my soul which is yearning for the silence it needs to be nourished.
Does anyone know how to sit in silence and solitude? It's harder than it seems...really.... But, as my soul insisted it was hungry and needed to be fed, I made my first real attempt [might I add feeble attempt] at sitting in silence. Did I mention it's a lot harder than it seems? You have to sit there and do nothing...do nothing. So frustrating!
So, for my 1st attempt at solitude and silence, I [against Ms Barton's suggestions] chose my office to sit in silence. The rattling of my air conditioner is the only noise, and if you've been to Kuwait you know that is as about as quiet as it gets.
10 minutes later and the experience wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My mind did stray, but I kept repeating my simple prayer [Peace be with you...thanks Jesus], and I kept returning to the quiet. Not bad for my 1st attempt. I felt somewhat relaxed after the silence.
Two days later [I skipped a day] I made my second attempt at a 10-minute silence. This time I had just finished preparing this Sunday's sermon and my mind was dead. I was exhausted and it was only 7pm. I climbed up the stairs to our berthing and crawled into my rack. After placing two towels around my bed to cut out the light, I realized I should probably sit in silence.
I placed my back on the partition, closed my eyes, said my prayer [Peace be with you], and listened to the silence of berthing. OMG it was DEAD!!!!! NO ONE MADE A SOUND. For the 1st time that I can remember I heard silence. It took about five minutes before my mind started getting restless, but those 1st five minutes recharged my soul in ways I cannot comprehend.
Interestingly enough people only started making noise in berthing after my 10 minutes was up.
Silence and solitude are essential even in the most extroverted lives. To let the spirit alone to be nourished by our Creator is one of the most sacred moments in our lives. Although I might not be "good at doing nothing" [something for which I think my CO is quite thankful], I am willing to take this daily journey into the world of solitude and silence.
Fransician Priest Richard Rohr once [via Ruth Haley Barton] wrote, "A good journey begins with knowing where we are and being willing to go somewhere else."
If you are interested in experiencing solidute and silence, here is what Ruth haley Barton suggests in chapter 2 [entitled "Beginnings"] her book Invitiation to Solitude and Silence: Experiencing God's Transforming Presence:
1. Identify your sacred space and time
2. Begin with a modest goal [of time]. Something like 10-15 minutes is reasonable
3. Settle into a comofortable yet alert physical positon
4. Ask God to give you a simple prayer that expresses your openess and desire for God. Distractions are normal; when you become distracted, thenlet them go and use your prayer to refocus you.
5. Close your time in silence with a pryaer of gratitude for God's presence with you, or pray the Lord's Prayer
6. Resist the urge to judge yourself or your experiences in silence. That time is supposed to be between you and God in whatever state that is; let him be in control and trust that it is exactly as it should be.
Happy Silence & Solitude!
2 comments:
Silence is a wonderful thing; hard enough to achieve in the world around us, almost impossible to achieve in the world within us. Still, the discipline of being still and silent is a good one, especially in our hectic lives as chaplains.
wow!! i've needed to hear (read!) this for awhile. like you...silence is EXTREEMLY difficult for me, but something i feel i need to practise. thanks again for the inspiration, my friend!
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