Yesterday I went to go see Tyler Perry's new movie Madea Goes to Jail. Honestly, it wasn't my favorite Tyler Perry movie, and my least favorite Madea movie. But, what I want to address is the ending (beware there are spoilers).
Essentially, the leading guy (Taye Diggs) gets the drug addicted girl (Keisha Knight Pullium). He "saves" her from prison and a life of drugs. Of course she does an obligatory certain amount of work herself before he saves her; but as in most Hollywood movies the "Knight in Shining Armor" rushes in and "saves" the drug addicted prostitute (BTW--Keisha Knight Pullium does a GREAT job, little Rudy Huxtable no more).
To quote one of my favorite TV shows (Sex and the City, of course)...
Charlotte: "Where is he?!"
Miranda: "Who the white knight?"
Carrie: "Sweetie...don't you think we can be our own white knights?"
Charlotte: "That's so depressing."
Carrie: "Is it?"
Is there a "white knight" standing on the sidelines waiting for their damsels in distress? What if our "distress" is life...is he going to rescue us from that as well? What if "drug addiction," "prostitution," is life for us? Is there going to really be someone who rescues us?
This movie would have been so much better and realistic if he had not "rescued" her, but if he simply remained an encouraging friend with her helping her through her addiction and getting her back onto her feet. Who in their right minds would say, "Hey, I've fallen in love with a former prostitute and heroin addict 2 months after being clean!" Sign me up!
In fact, most 12-step programs discourage dating until a year of sobriety has ended. They certainly don't recommend confessing an undying love for the person in recovery. Tyler Perry's movie does something very dangerous...it gives false hope that these White Knights are waiting. I don't think the movie will encourage or discourage sobriety because the possibility of a life love waiting at the finish line. But, I do think the movie paints a distorted picture of how "easy" sobriety is, and doesn't address the dangers of "falling in love" during recovery. Sobriety only gets harder and harder, not easier an easier.
In fact, the author Melodie Beatie really brings the concept of love, white knight, and sobriety full circle!
Don't get me wrong, I like the first 3/4ths of the movie. I loved the street minister, Madea always offers a classic comedic relief, and I'm so glad this movie was made because it is inspirational (thanks to that street minister and Madea). I could have figured out a worse way to spend $8.50 + $4.50 Diet Coke and 2 hours of my day ;-)
The movie is encouraging, but paints a really distorted Salvatore Dali-like painting of what life is like when getting sober.
As for "knights in shining armor" for the rest of us...when I got to be 30+ I begin to realize I don't need rescuing (I got myself into certain situations, and I'll have to get myself out). I begin to realize (because I want a man in my life...but it certainly not a requirement for living) I want a man with whom we can share each other's lives, meaning the good the bad and the ugly. The idea knights in shining armor represent some innate ability to "save a person" is ridiculous. Salvation comes through Christ, not another person. And, even in salvation does not mean a person will not live through the tough times in life. So, if we stop looking for that Knight, then he might show up to experience life on life's terms, not to save someone.
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1 comment:
preach on, sistah!!
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