Homesick

For those who care (or read this blog, and I think that's probably two people) I'm sitting in the Ft Lauderdale airport waiting to catch my plane home. The past week has been an interesting time. For all of you looking to do a cruise here is my list of recommendations, do's/dont's, and experiences:

1. DON'T do a transfer from the airport to the cruise line if the cruise terminal is two miles away. My transfer cost $15, and took 2 hours to get the bus for two miles, AND the driver wanted a tip! On that note, carry lots of $1's for the countless amount of people who want/deserve a tip.

2. DO bring lots of patience...embarking is close to a 3-hour process for a cruise ship that has 3,000 folks on it.

4. If you bring alcohol on the ship with you, then stuff the bottle in your shoe and wrap it around your sweatshirt in your bag and it won't get caught by the scanning machines in the terminal. DON'T try sneaking a dead body on board, it tend to raise red flags.

5. If you are traveling alone, talk to everyone you meet. The nice ones will talk back, and maybe they'll you sit with them at dinner.

6. Drinks onboard a cruise cost A LOT...EVERYTHING onboard costs a lot. However, get the rum cakes in the the Bahamas, they are $10 cheaper than the ones in the airport.

7. DON'T book a Spa treatment at 8am, chances are you'll want to sleep in.

8. Arriving in Puerto Rico at 5pm, and leaving at 11pm sucks and you can't see anything in the dark (read in between the lines and don't book a tour in the dark)...think of those post cards, "This is [name of place] at night."

9. When your cruise director's name is Goose you know you are in trouble...or in for a good time.

10. If your cruise ship is filming a commerical with a white guy named Adam who has a really big afro, then you know you're in trouble.

11. If you get into said commercial, then they save SAG fees and just pay you w/ free alcohol...still NOT worth the grueling work of laying out and catching a tan.

12. If there is a metal can in your bathroom in the basin, it's not a storage bin, it's a trash can. So, don't put your makeup bag in the trash can because they'll throw it away.

13. Carnival Splendor shows are AMAZING! I would actually pay for some of them (but, don't tell Carnival they have all my money anyway)

14. DON'T bother with the shopping lectures. Cruise lines get kickbacks, and free jewelry ain't all that anyway. Spend your time doing something fun in the sun.

15. DO book spa sessions during in-port days; you can go before the ship docks or after it departs. The deals are better and cheaper.

16. DON'T make cruise friends with 42-year old cougars named Joanie. DO make friends with everyone else!

17. Take time to dance and talk with the 50-year olds on the lido deck. Take your pictures with them, they may turn out to be hospital chaplains :-)

18. If you are cruising with a member of the opposite sex and you like him/her, then have lots a of sex with that person...FYI so there's no confusion...there was absolutely NO sex in my room, just sleeping, eating, drinking ice tea, and watching CNN. But, a cruise seems like a nice (and obvious) place to go on a honeymoon, and have fun.

19. On Sundays go to the piano bar, they may have a church service that wasn't printed in the bulletin. Yeah for the lady who came to the Lord last Sunday! The service was amazing! Where else but Carnival can you have a full gospel service in the piano bar on the lido deck and have a lady respond to the alter call! Amen!

20. Watch out for rude people and say a prayer for the dead man you find in the street in St Thomas. The people are sooooo rude there, but the island is absolutely beautiful! I was shopping on Main Street and saw a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk. But, people were stopping and staring at him saying he was dead. The police were also forming an area around the man as the ambulance arrived. My heart broke, around all the tourists with money and food this man died homeless (and alone) on the street.

21. Be thankful for the many blessings in our lives.

22. You learn to look forward to getting a towel made into a stuffed animal and having two chocolates on your pillow every night.

23. The Bahamian people are very nice. I want to go back (via plane) to Bahamas.

24. Leave a tip and a good comment card for your dinner server. Also, get to know him/her. Our's was Kim and his family (wife and daughter) live in Korea. He's not going to be with them over the holidays, so leave a good tip for these hard working men and women.

25. NEVER take a cruise after a deployment without seeing your family first. I have been homsick for the past three days, and am ready to get home and spend Christmas with the people that mean most to me (and Pancho who is technically not a person, although at times I think he thinks he is).